It’s that time of year where you have to be careful when you walk outside. I have fallen on my kiester I few times over the years and it’s never fun. I’m not sure what’s worse… falling and hurting your but-bone or doing it in front of people and having them giggle at your expense. It’s hard to make falling on your backside look cool. Just take a look at these folks.
Here are some techniques to use when trying to navigate on slippery surfaces:
- The Shuffle. This technique is as simple as it sounds. Have your feet flat on the ground and slowly shuffle your left foot a couple of inches than slowly slide the right. In 4 hours we’ll be at your destination.
- The Fred Flintstone. Just imagine ol’ Freddy Boy on the bowling alley. When you see a patch of ice just get up on your tippie toes and tinkle across. If you do it correctly you will hear that same sound Fred makes.
- The Crawl. This might be the safest technique but not the coolest. When you see danger just get on all fours and crawl along, not very graceful but it will save your buttocks from getting bruised.
- The Scoot. Very similar to number 3 but instead of going on your knees you just sit on your bum and scoot across the ice like your dog does on the carpet. This one is good if you have already bit the biscuit and you don’t want to stand up just to fall again.
- The Slide. When you see the ice in the distance, take a run at it and before you hit it just slide. This is by far the coolest of all the tips. When doing it you will look just like Will Smith.
- The Penguin. This is an honest to goodness move that is recommended by health professionals and the only one you should use from this list. Here’s a poem a stole from the internet on how use this technique:
When things get cold and icy
and your path looks kind of dicey
Keep your toes all pointed out-y
Keep your knees all loosey-goosey
Keep your hands outside your pockets
Take short steps so you won’t rocket
Take it slowly holey-moley
So you won’t fall down and rolley
When I think about doing the penguin I automatically think of the movie Billy Madison “It’s too damn hot for a penguin to just be walking around here.”